Afterthoughts: what’s x-mas all about, anyways?

So, the post-boxing day (week) sales have all ended, brightly coloured lights no longer festoon every eaves trough and living room window, and I’m left in a contemplative mood.  Figured I’d throw down some thoughts about the Meaning of X-mas

       When it comes to the ‘holidays’ (aka christmas, winter solstice, boxing day, new year’s, etc. etc.), I think most everyone largely fall into one of three camps:

1) Those who shop;

2) Those who pray; and

3) Those who don’t really know what it’s all about (don’t like to shop; can’t be bothered to pray).

       When I was growing up, we’d often spend X-mas’s up in my Dad’s home town (predominantly Catholic; predominantly francophone), and I remember those as some of the best ones I ever experienced.   There  was a feeling of something special going on at that time of year – the carol singing, the snow, the glowing X-mas trees in every living room, the ubiquitous baked goods, the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins (who often only saw each other at X-mas, despite living in the same town of population 5000).  Then, there was midnight mass at the cathedral – all the town’s (good) Catholics in their X-mas best, sitting hushed in the dimly lit church as the priest and choir droned on incoherently (ie: French) – followed by Reveillon – a huge, hot meal served after everyone trudged home from church in the snow and dark.

       Now, I am not – nor have I ever been – a Catholic (good or otherwise); nevertheless, when you linked all those events together with a common theme, there was something special – I’d even go so far as to say magical – about the whole affair.  Did you notice that I didn’t even mention presents?  Well – they were there too.  After Reveillon, all the cousins, brothers and sisters (wired to the hilt on sugar and butter) would tear into the presents under the tree, as the adults found a chair somewhere and  fell into food-induced comas.  However, the presents are not what I remember about those times.  Christmas was more than that.

       I grew older, and we grew apart from my Dad’s extended family, as families do.  X-mas with my folks and my sister was still one of the most special times of the year, but it never seemed quite so magical, in comparison to the ones spent in franco-land.  I’m an atheist, as was my sister by default (this was back when she did anything her big brother did), and my parents were devout non-practitioners of their own parents’ faiths, so no element of religiosity ever entered our holiday season.  Once I began to earn my own money, I needed to spend it, of course: I vividly remember spending hours in the mall with my secret little list, buying hundreds of dollars of useless junk for each of my family members.  And as time went on, that’s what X-mas became for me: buying and receiving junk.

       (yes, Mother – it was also about spending time with each other, and enjoying a nice meal.  Now get out of my head.)

       Now, we come to the present (as in present tense, not presents from Santa).  Neither hubby nor I can stand shopping.  Yeah, I know – not terribly gay of us.  On top of this, we have both adopted a sort of non-materialistic philosophy where we’ve realized that possession of crap just ain’t what it’s cracked up to be.  He and I have been purging junk from our attic, garage, closets, etc. for years, and (before we got the boys) we’d reached a good balance in our house of more useful stuff than junk.  Yeah, and then came the boys.  Baby towels, baby cloths, baby bibs, baby socks, baby onesies, baby sleepers, baby blankets, baby crib sheets, baby powders, baby oils, baby lotions, baby soaps, baby ointments, baby seats, baby soothers, baby toys… then wait one year, replace most of the ‘baby‘s with ‘toddler‘s, and start over.  UGH.

       So we have a situation where 1) we don’t like to shop (aka: acquire junk); and 2) we don’t pray (and won’t, even for the sake of X-mas).  So that leaves us as category 3’ers: we don’t really know what X-mas should be all about (combine that with the fact that we’re still learning how to be a family with two dads, and you can imagine some of the conversations that hubby and I get into late at night).

       And finally, we get to our two boys – one of whom has reached the age where Santa and presents and snow make him squeal with toddler delight.  What kind of memories do we want our sons to have about X-mas, when they’re all grown up and writing their own blogs?  I desperately want X-mas to mean more than just acquisition of material goods crap, but I’m not interested in following the rituals of one religion or another, simply because they’ve decided that the season is theirs (hey – it’s originally pagan, folks, plus the likelihood of Jesus having been born on the 25th of Dec – much less in the year ‘0’ is next to nil… but who cares about details?).

       So what’s left, if you take away traditional rituals and presents?  (yes, Mom – a nice meal with family – I KNOW).  Ahem… You’re left with a nice meal with family.  Which is basically Thanksgiving 2.0.  Thanksgiving is nice, but X-mas should mean something… more.  Incidentally, Hubby and I have had a no-presents-X-mas (we forced it on his parents one year).  It sucked.  There was nothing jolly about that X-mas.

SOLUTION:  I think the key is in moderation, and variety ==>

1) Rituals and ceremonies add magic to the season, but they don’t have to be religious in nature:

  • celebrate the solstice;
  • make the Santa Claus parade a yearly event, followed by a nice meal with friends;
  • make a yearly ritual out of putting up a tree, some lights and starting to play X-mas music;
  • make sure to make a snowman, if it snows enough before X-mas day;
  • help out at a food bank over the holidays, or make a donation to a canned food-drive (do this each year);
  • establish a special routine for X-mas day – certain meals or events that only happen on that day; and, speaking of meals…
  • plan at least one nice meal* with extended family and/or friends (see, Mom – I do listen).
Everyone loves a good roast beast.

               Everyone loves a good roast beast.

2)  Presents are fun and exciting (especially for kids), but quality should be the focus, rather than quantity:

  • one special present per kid, with a small stocking stuffer for each adult;
  • make present-buying one of the rituals of the holiday season – a time to go into town and enjoy the lights, music and mood of the season; and
  • make present-opening another, small ritual, placed between other rituals or events, so that it doesn’t dominate the mood of the day (a family walk with the dogs in the woods, followed by presents, followed by a nice family brunch, for example).

 *meals – your X-mas meal can become an elaborate ritual in itself, with multiple courses, courses that only appear on X-mas day, party favours and X-mas crackers, mini-games at the table, taking time to reflect on the year, as you eat, etc. etc.

       Anyways – X-mas is over, and nobody likes to dwell on X-mas after the fact, so I’ll stop there.  But if you’re so inclined, drop me your thoughts regarding the meaning of the holidays, and about how you might make your own Christmas more meaningful in future years.

       Oh… and Happy Belated New Years to you all!!!

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2 Dads and 2 Sons ROCK!

Here’s why:

1)  We leave our toilet seat up.  Nobody complains.  We also use only a fraction of the toilet paper that those… other families use (you know – the ones with  two or more genders);

2) We have two sets of shoulders for two little boys.  Nobody has to wait for a free-ride;

3)  We all drink right out of the milk jug – without having to hide behind the fridge door when we do it;

4)  We only need two sets of clothes in our home – one set for hubby & me, and one set for the boys;

5)  No girls means we won’t ever have to send our kids into a change room without us, to the mercy of random strangers;

6)  We can all take a piss in the woods, and never have to worry about wiping with a poison ivy leaf;

7)  Everyone gets the same haircut (done by Daddy): #2 sides and back (we’re talking savings of $50-$100 per month here!);

8)  We’ll never lack (well, once the boys are a bit older) for extra sets of strong arms around the house (I’m talking lawn cutting, wood chopping, taking the garbage out,  bringing the groceries in ‘cuz I’m too lazy to do it myself, etc.);

9)  We don’t have – and will NEVER HAVE (notice my upper-case lettering, sons?) – a closet full of useless shoes; and…

…the final reason why 2 dads and 2 sons in a family rock:

10)  No periods, Period.

       See?  I told you so. 😉

4_penguins

Taking a Break From it All

Enough was enough.  Diapers, formula, toys everywhere, unending dishes and laundry, driving here there and everywhere for preschool, playgroups, appointments and visits.   Constant (though endearing) nagging by an ultra-high-energy three-year-old (“More Mini Wheats please!”; “Daddy, come play!”; “I don’t want to nap!”; “Bum-wipe please!” etc., etc.), and incessant demands from an eight-month old who had just learned how to grunt commands (translations: “gimme food!”; “gimme that toy!”; “gimme cuddles!”; etc. etc.)…

Phew!

We needed a break.  So we took one.  Hubby got his folks to come down and “spend some quality time” with the kids (aka: “free babysitting”), and we jumped in the car and drove away without looking back! 

Ok.  Well, it wasn’t quite that spontaneous, but an escape from kids never really can be.  Hubby and I had taken a trip this time last year to New Orleans, and it was the best five days we’d spent in years.  It worked out that we’d both have this time off again this year, so we planned a nice trip to New York City.  Of course, this was before Hurricane Sandy.  Not wanting to be total pricks by expecting a city still picking up pieces from a major natural catastrophe to drop everything and show us a good time, we chose to just go somewhere up here – Montreal.

We’ve planned to stay for five days – so far we’re on our fourth, and we’ve had a great time so far.  We’re staying at a B&B in the village, and hubby took it upon himself to organize our every waking moment – perfectly optimizing our tourist experience. 😐  So far, we’ve made excellent use of our three-day Metro passes, gotten in lots of walking and jogging, taken in as much history of the city as we can handle, not to mention lots of awesome food.  Tonight, we will enjoy some music at Place des Arts, then up to the ‘Mountain’ (it’s a hill, but Montrealers apparently get in a tizzy if you call it that) for a jog tomorrow morning, and then back home to the boys in the afternoon.

Some parents we know haven’t had a night away from their kids in six years.  They talk about a feeling of guilt that descends upon them when they even contemplate leaving their offspring, to go out and have fun.  Of course, we also know some parents who still get out two to four times per month, unwilling to sacrifice their life style from the ‘good old days’ of clubbing and drinking.  Hubby and I fit pretty comfortably in the middle, I think.

We both understand the value of taking a break.  Sometimes a break can be as little as one hour – one of us stays at home with the boys while the other goes food shopping (yes, food shopping can feel like a break, if done sans enfants).  Or at the other extreme, a break is both of us heading to New Orleans or Montreal for a week.  Regardless, the time away is undeniably therapeutic and restorative.  As much as I love my boys, and love my house, the chaos-that-is-my-life just gets to be too much at times – it’s all trees, and I can’t enjoy the beauty of the forest.

Right about now – four days into our getaway – we are starting to pine after the boys, wondering what they are doing, and giggling like school girls as we recall their antics – antics which we were not finding so terribly amusing as they occurred.  And just now, Hubby couldn’t resist – he called home just to hear our eldest son’s voice.  Both father and son were tickled pink to hear one another (with our youngest son squealing away in delight, in the background).   And so our trip has done the trick: we are ready to go home now.  Refreshed, renewed and in love with our two little rascals again.

So, take a break from the kids every now and then, eh?  It’s worth it – for everyone!

 

 

 

Breastfeeding vs. Baby Formula

Yeah, so we’re two gay dudes; as such, breastfeeding is pretty much out.  Very briefly after they were born, both our boys’ biological mothers tried to breast feed.  Both women dried up pretty quickly however, for which I was quite thankful – both women were heavy smokers, and the one-and-only time that breast milk was sent home to us by our eldest son’s birth mother, I nearly gagged and had to pour it down the drain.  “Poured out breast milk?!  But think of the poor children,”  you poo-poo’ers out there are saying!  Well, please remember: I’m gay, and I find breasts and/or the fluids they leak mildly revolting.  Best interests of the child or not, there ain’t no way I’m handling a sticky, warm cup full of chunky orange slurpy from some random lady’s boob.  NO WAY.

(ugh, ok – clearing my cache of mental images and moving on…)

Breast milk is undeniably the first choice for a baby, since it is created by humans, for humans.  So, if it is available for your baby (and you can handle it without being physically ill), then by all means use breast milk.  The nice ladies at www.maternalinstinct.ca have thoughtfully come up with a top-10 list of  the benefits of breastfeeding, just to make those of us who don’t/can’t do it feel even more like bad parents:

10 Benefits of Breastfeeding
1. Boosts immune function and may prevent a variety of illnesses
2. May prevent allergies
3. May prevent SIDS
4. Is easier to digest
5. Is made specifically for your baby
6. Is always available, sterile and the correct temperature
7. Is free!
8. May prevent certain types of cancer in the mother
9. May prevent postpartum depression
10. Helps moms get more sleep!

(*Notice the number of may’s in that list [5 of them], as well as the (accidental, I’m sure) absence of the word dads in #10.)

 Health Canada reported that while about 87% of mothers try breastfeeding, only about 26% are still plugging away at it six months later.  The numbers for the United States are a bit different, but the general trend holds.  Everyone else?  Well, we’re mixing drinks like madmen, for our tubby little buggers => between six and eight times per day for the first 4-6 months or so.

I was bottle fed when I was a babe, as was my hubby.  Our three-year old was bottle-fed, and now our youngest is being too.  What harm did our mothers do to us by bottle feeding us, and what damage are we now doing to our sons?  Arguably, I would say none.  I have no allergies, no asthma, no ADHD, and I didn’t die of SIDS as a kid.  Ditto for hubby.  In fact, I would go so far as to say (in my non-medical opinion) that bottle feeding is superior to breast feeding, except for fact that we evolved to be fed on the stuff until we grew teeth (pshaw! minor details!).  And so, in recognition of all the dads, moms, or other parental units out there who bottle feed their children for whatever reason, here is MY top-1o list of the benefits of bottle feeding:

Top-10 Benefits of Bottle Feeding

10.  You don’t need to give your baby vitamin-D or iron supplements, like some breastfed babies (baby formula already has enough of both added in);

9.  Your baby should drink from a sterilized source for the first few months of life – I know my dishwasher’s ‘sanitize’ cycle cleans my bottles properly… but  who knows where that breast has been?!?

8.  You can eat and drink what you like, or take any medications you need, and know that your baby is still getting  the nutrients and vitamins that she needs from her bottle;

7.  Bottles allow you to monitor how much your baby is drinking (short of weighing a mother to the exact ounce before and after breast feeding, there is very little way to keep track of what your little breast-drinking tyke is sucking in);

6.  Baby formula can be used as coffee whitener in a pinch – try asking any woman if she’d mind a pinch for some coffee cream!

5.  Anyone can feed the baby (your parents, your friends, Jehovah’s Witnesses who come to the door [that’ll be the last time they bug you, I can guarantee], etc.), which ultimately allows your baby to bond with other adults, other than just the boob-donor;

4.  When your baby starts to eat infant cereal that calls for breast milk or formula, it’s much easier to just add a scoop of formula than to… squirt in (?) some breast milk (honestly, I don’t even know how that would work!);

3.  When your baby has developed enough manual dexterity, he can drink all by himself (around 5-7 months, each of our boys were able to grasp and lift their bottle by themselves.  This allowed us to place them in their doughnut or their rocking chair somewhere close to us and let them do all the work by themselves while we chatted with them, but continued to do whatever we were doing);

2.  Bottle-fed babies typically eat less-frequently than their breast-fed buddies.  This means that they can go for longer stretches through the night, sooner than said buddies (ie: you get to sleep through the night MUCH SOONER than your breastfeeding friends!);

      and the top benefit to bottle feeding your baby:

1.  no breasts to deal with (Yay!).

       And with that, it’s time for me to get a good (FULL) night’s sleep!

Time to go shoppin’, boys! (part 1)

Ok, so I think I’d like to back up a bit from the time frame of my last post, where I recounted how we two gay dudes had just brought our first newborn home.  See, there’s a bit of prep work that went into getting our home set up as a baby-friendly zone.  In doing this ourselves, we discovered the mysterious inverse relationship between the age of an infant, and the volume of ‘stuff ‘ needed to support said small human.

I’ll use this post as a way to flesh out exactly what I mean by ‘stuff ‘.  And yes, this has been done before in many other blogs/sites.  But do you know what?  Each and every other ‘list of stuff you need for your newborn’ that I’ve come across has been written from a woman’s perspective.  So, this will (hopefully) be a bit of a fresh look at “The List”.

“ahem”

What You Need for a Brand New Baby (ie: younger that say, three months old)

I’ve broken this list down into categories sorta based on Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.  I’ll talk about needs, wants, not-yets, and the useless ‘stuff’, and then order each item within the categories according to importance or relevance.  Yes, I’m anal when it comes to lists.  I find lists comforting (please just nod like you appreciate where I’m coming from and read on, ok?).

1)  Things You Really Need to Get

Infant Carseat: this is number one on my list, because if you don’t have this, you ain’t takin’ your little guy home!  Hospitals won’t let you leave unless you arrive with one in hand.  Any brand or model you find will (well, should!) meet the safety standards of your country or region, so really, it comes down to personal choice.  Some carseats are designed to combine with a stroller (they usually are sold together), so if you think you’ll use a stroller, this variety might be for you (it wasn’t for us; we rarely used a stroller).

Bottles: even if you guys are bringing home an older infant (upwards of 18mths), you’ll still need some of these.  They come in different sizes (most commonly small (4oz) and large (8oz)); the small ones are more useful at first, but quickly become useless once your voracious drinker wants a full bottle.  We bought a mix of sizes for son #1, but have exclusively used the 8oz size for son #2.

       *glass vs. plastic?  New plastic bottles are supposed to be BPA free (there was a scare a few years ago about plastic bottles); however, we use glass because all the hype about plastic bottles still has us wary of them, plus I really just like the feel of glass.

Formula: start with some ready-serve formula for the first day or so, until you see how your routine is establishing itself, then switch to the powdered version of the SAME brand, and start mixing!  There’s an old wives’ tale about how babies reject the first type of formula they try, so you should buy your second choice first.  We did not have that problem with either of our two boys (strangely enough, we didn’t have problems with ANY of the old wives’ tales we were told…).  I won’t endorse any particular brand here (cuz I ain’t gettin’ paid to do so), and they are all supposed to be nutritionally equal… but hey – you get what you pay for, right?

If they are all out of fillet mignon-flavour, this should be an adequate substitute.

Somewhere for Baby to Sleep: babies can and will sleep almost anywhere.  That being said, if you are doing a public adoption (like hubby and I did), your social workers will want to see that you have a bed set up exclusively for your new small human.  Our local public health agency does not support ‘family beds’ (where you, your significant other and baby all sleep together); nor do I.  I have a hard enough time sleeping with hubby rolling all over the place all night long, without having to worry about another body getting in the way of my beauty sleep.  So what are your other options?  Bassinet (he’ll outgrow this quickly!), or crib.  We chose the latter for our first son, buying something called a convertible crib.  No, it doesn’t have a retractable roof – it converted into a big-boy-bed when he got old enough to want to get out of bed himself, and can convert into a double bed when he’s outgrown this stage.  If you go for a crib, don’t forget to pick up a baby mattress, along with some fitted baby mattress sheets, and a plastic sheet to go between them and the mattress.

Diapers:

  • Disposable or Re-useable: you know what?  Just make your life easy – start with disposable diapers.  After a few months, when you can think rationally again, look into re-useable ones.  Son #1 uses a re-useable diaper for his afternoon nap, and a disposable diaper at night (we found having a re-usable diaper on all-night-long is too hard on his skin).
  • What Size to Buy: if you guys are bringing home a newborn, you probably want to get one (ONE) regular pack of ‘newborn’ sized diapers (usually marked with an ‘n’ on the box).  Your little dude is likely to grow quickly – he might even be ready for size ‘1’ by the time you finish the newborn pack.  At that stage, you are probably ok to buy a bigger box (which saves a bit of cash, and the odd trip to the store).
  • What Brand to Use: pick one and see if your little squirter does well in them (by ‘well’, I mean does he break out in pussy rashes and angry pimples one hour after you put the diaper on?).  We’ve only ever tried Pampers, with 100% success.  Like formula, I’m not sure that diapers are something you want to skimp on…  I suggest you be wary of no-name or store brands.

Onesies: The workdress of an infant.  Comes in two styles: short-sleeved-short-legged, and long-sleeved-long-legged. Half a dozen of each should do (why so few?  Because you’ll likely be getting a whole bunch more as gifts from friends and family).  Oh, and hey: the fewer buttons the better. Some crazy little outfits come with flaps and double breasts with snaps here, buttons there and ties for good measure.  Just go for simple one-row button-ups or (better yet) zippers; when it’s 2-am, you’re all thumbs, and you’re trying to get him back into his clothes after a particularly messy diaper change… well, you’ll thank me.

Short onesie & long onesie

Socks & Hats:  You only need a couple of each of these.  There will be mornings that are too warm for a long onesie, but a bit too chilly for bare baby feet.  And when you’re headed outside for a walk on a cloudy, windy day, a hat will keep his little bald head warm.

*The rule of thumb for dressing your little tyke: consider how much you are wearing, and add one layer for him.  No more.  Over-dressing an infant may have a link to sids.

Diaper Rash Cream: every baby gets diaper rash.  Some worse than others.  I’ve got a whole rant coming in another post about diaper rash…  In short, I believe the best way to treat diaper rash is to REMOVE THE DIAPER !  Failing that, it’s not bad to have some of this cream around, because – yeah – I know: there are times when a non-diapered baby is a non-option.

Blankies (adult spelling = blankets): you need a few knitted or fleece blankets for when your little dude is in the car seat, or to cover him and you when you are both a little sleepy after a feeding in your comfy chair (aaahhh!  cuddle time with your satiated baby = daddy bliss).

Burp cloths: Ok – so you don’t NEED these, provided you have an equal number of shirts to the number of feedings you do per week (roughly 40, for the first while).  Otherwise, get a dozen of these.  Little secret => get a pack or two of Gerber ‘cloth diapers’, which are just large squares of extra absorbent cloth; fold one in half and throw over your shoulder = perfect burp cloth.  They also come in handy for swaddling (ah, swaddling!  I’m going to dedicate another post to the wonder and joy of the swaddle).

Baby Carrier: aka baby sling or baby wrap.  Essentially, a device to fasten your baby to your chest.  We used this in place of a stroller almost without exception.  The type we used was a Snugli carrier; I’m not specifically endorsing this brand; it was simply the first and only one we tried.  With complete success 😉 .

Better bonding opportunities than with a stroller!

Baby 1st Aid / Toiletry Kit: Some of this stuff can be found in your home already (see next category below), but a few things are exclusive to little humans, such as: baby nail clippers, baby pain killer, baby thermometer, baby turkey baster (yeah… we never actually used this, but it’s supposed to suck boogies out of your little squirmer’s nose…)

and the final thing you guys will need

Quick Meals for the Two of You: for at least one week.  Because the last thing either of you want to think about is cooking a meal from scratch, or even go out for take-out.  Think frozen pizzas, frozen meat pies, frozen lasagnas, fresh pasta, frozen heat-and-serve fish meals, etc., etc.  Or hey – got a caterer friend?  Get them to drop a bunch of fresh meals off at your place.  Or invite one of your mothers to stay with you for a bit. <=nah.  Not worth it, in the long run.  Trust me 😦

2) Things You Can Cobble Together from Stuff You Already Have

Not everything has to be shiny and new for your little guy – he won’t notice if a thing or two looks recycled, and you’ll save yourselves a bit of cash.  Root around in that medicine cabinet for stuff that’s been there for eight years (Vaseline doesn’t go bad).  Feel good about re-using something that was just sitting in the garage, collecting mice feces dust.  Discover a use for something that was destined for the curb.

Diaper Bag: an essential piece of baby-kit, though not essential to be a designer model.  Pretty much any ol’ bag will do (a knap sack, a small suitcase, etc.)  We use a medium-sized gym bag with end pockets, and a few internal pockets.  It doesn’t have to get fancier than that.  Oh wait – you’re asking “what’s a diaper bag?!”  Good question.  Scroll to the bottom of part 2 of this post for the Diaper Bag Primer.

It’s up to you, dads. YOU’RE the ones who have to carry it.

Diaper Pail: if you intend to use re-useable diapers (we use a mix of re-useable and disposable), you’ll need somewhere other than your normal laundry hamper to drop these puppies.  We use a big ice cream tub beside the toilet in our bathroom (the tub comes from a local ice cream parlour, that sells them for a dollar a piece).

Corn Starch: I used an awful lot of talcum powder on our first son – it was a great way to keep his bum dry, and cut down on the development of diaper rash.  However, there is some thought that inhaling talcum powder can be harmful, and even carcinogenic (some people likening it to asbestos!).  Well, corn starch – which everybody has in their kitchen – works just as well, if not better, and I’ve started using it on our #2 boy.  Just don’t apply as much as you would talc – it can clump up a bit in the folds of his skin. 

making your life – at night – easier

Night Lights: Guess what?  You’re gonna find yourself stumbling around your home at all hours of the night with baby-in-hand.  Why fumble for light switches (and wake him up in the process), when you can just plug-in a handful of these strategically throughout your place, making night-travel a cinch?

Other: petroleum jelly, rubbing alcohol, cotton balls; basically, anything you’d find in a baby first aid kit.  The items in a store-bought baby kit will be packaged smaller, and come in nice-smelling varieties, but your stuff – obviously – will work just as well.

Ok – let’s take a breather here.  When you come back, “The List” will continue in Part 2.

Gay Dads do it Better

Hello,

Welcome to my blog “2 Dads are better than 1”; thank you for checking it out.  My name is Gary, and I live in Eastern Ontario with my husband, our two sons and our two dogs.  I’ve begun this blog in response to the overwhelmingly heterosexist and misandrist (man-hating) attitude that this planet has towards parenting.  My goal is to dispel the notion that child-rearing is purely the bailiwick of (straight) women, and to demonstrate that two guys are just as good at raising kids (if not better, in my not-so-humble opinion) than any other parental combination.

*Disclaimer* – I am not a doctor, nor a psychologist, nor a counsellor, nor any other type of professional in the field of child-rearing.  I am merely a father of two, and anything I may post from here on in is my opinion or my best guess, garnered from experiences my husband and I had with our two boys.  I may also re-post items from other sources.  Nothing you read in here should be considered gospel with respect to child-rearing.  First off, there is no such thing as gospel with respect to child-rearing.  Second, you should always take anything you read online with a grain of salt.  There.  Consider yourselves forewarned.

Ok!  We’ve got the intro out of the way, now it’s time to find out why – when it comes to parenting – gay dads do it better!